no doubt the first man that ever murdered an ox was regarded a murderer (2025-22 weekly post)
weekly flash? yes; and revisions, translations, etc
a family visit; little project time; but reading, still, yes!
i only finished the rehearsal this week
confession: my guilty pleasure is watching productivity videos and judging the hosts: buddy, why don’t we just LIVE. i started with a new therapist this week for this and several other issues. how will it affect this unread posts?
goal: be productive in order to be more productive; use the extra time to spread the productivity word; its a form of jesus
An Analysis (weekly flash 2025-22)
Regarding self-immolation, I am terribly afraid. This makes a bit of sense on its face, of course: fire’s already frighting before one even considers the flesh, but once the fire and flesh have touched the result is terror itself: the melting and the charring and pain as well, or perhaps more shockingly the skeleton, which seems (once the fire has reached a certain cohesion) to take over for the musculature as the body’s defining shape. This is nothing more than the fear of fire, of course: a fear as common as worker ants or potholes, as meaningless (almost) as natural fact. Our focus then should be on the words themselves: immolation and its prefix self.
Immolation, as well, is perhaps self-evident: a fear of flame to its completion, as it were: sensation to the point sensation ends. Self is the part that’s strange, as self must muddle motivations. One doesn’t burst to flame as by mistake, as in spontaneous combustion, but rather methodically engages at first in a simple act of purchase, in order to gain such fluid as gasoline, perhaps as well (depending on personal habit) a lighter, the first of several soaking rags, a video camera, microphone equipment, an inconspicuous car, a sufficient map. One does not transform oneself by accident either but rather studies considered patterns of security cameras, memorizes guard schedules, routes, calculates moments long enough a body, once burnt, cannot be doused back to partial silencing recovery by its bold statement’s first audience, the simple or instrumental protectors of property and the sort at the scene of the crime, security types, idiot viewers, certain the greatest act a man might partake in is to recover another’s life, as death by definition (the fool believes) is always meaningless, or if it contains a meaning it’s only a demerit of a sort, a failure maintain duty, not a transmission, one much for meaningful than words, so strong it defies and redefines reality: I at least take no part. The act must be intentional. I, the immolatee, must control it.
j, my counselor tells me, don’t you find the meaning of your terrors apparent? Recall previous discussions of your time spent underground. Not many people have dealt with the literal experience of being held against their will, tied in an acrylic box beneath the earth, dirt and worms and falling rain so tantalizing visible overtop one’s head, etc. The body finds a stasis, you know, with habit. Perhaps we can presume this one result of a sudden resumption of free will, a renewed sort of terror in what you’re now able to do. What if control’s not so different from its lack? Are you understanding?
I close my eyes, we’re only on the phone: she doesn’t notice. These thoughts (even my fears) are just ideas. I am material. I try for the moment to focus on my breath. No matter what I do, the breaths go on.
The writer’s job is the job of a clown (2025-21 weekly post)
a weekly flash! its more likely than possible. a fly (quite large) is trapped between my screen and my windowpane. we are six floors up. i have typed, as well, The Girl; i have attempted some self-translation
will the ants return? yes! with a retooling
have i read much? yes! of course
let’s take a moment to adore Ducks, Newburryport. thank you
let’s take a moment to fall into the beautiful mid-point of new movie Sinners
2025-20 weekly post
one tires of the weekly blog post; one wants to write new ways; one has returned finally to both revision and translation, of The Girl and Meet Me In A Dream; one wishes to write a Short a Week, fool of productivity; one has health issues, doctors appointsments; one will be published soon, more info coming; one reads Garielle Lutz, the best of the literary; one struggles to sleep; one reads Thomas Bernhard; is ones reading gone morose?; and Hunter X Hunter; of Montreal; watch Eurovision; plays rpgs; have you ever eaten fish so good it keeps you up all night?; one’s stomach fails one; one is making WordPress blocks
2025-19 weekly post
hello everyone. i live in brooklyn new york city. i have two cats who are kindly. this is a couple things i did this week here
Writing
- looked at submission spots
- tried to translate myself
- token revisions
Other projects
did a game jam flat game, real fun; post soon
Books
jhumpa lahiri translations book! balzac! herman melville! also, lamer, a Monk the tv show novel
Other
some movies from the 1990s